Eier haben

Testicles are complex sexualized entities. Just as curvaceous hips sway side to side, testicles roll up and down. This is not conscious. The cremaster muscle keeps testicles involuntarily on the move. However, since the war, ground level chemicals have invaded the male anatomy sneaking through the hormone receptors as estrogen, and systematically depleting the crown jewels. Uncertain belonging stimulates a sense of non-ownership; effects a planetary drifting between imagined states of being.
You arrive in a new place and you can’t get the ticket machine to work. A queue forms behind you and you are struggling to find the right number of coins because the machine doesn't take notes. It is a different currency and you need to look closely at each coin to figure out its denomination. You can feel the bodies tensely impatient behind you, irritated by your incompetence. Your understanding of the language is deficient and you panic and press the wrong space on the screen. The woman behind is becoming extremely exasperated. You can feel her exasperation increasing by degrees, pressing in on you. She is judging you: your shoes, hair, shabby jacket, finding reasons to back up her irritation that is quickly transforming to hatred. You glance back and see all the angry faces attached to heads jutting out left and right, of the increasing assembly of potential passengers. They all want to catch the same train that leaves in four minutes.
A desire suddenly dawns on you.

text by Diane Torr for Eier haben